Friday, September 12, 2008

he pissed me off!

yeah i'm back. i'm back with bad feeling------

i was and am hurt. that's it. that's the correct word of what i feel now.
seriously, i don't understand why some people like to condemn others? is it how they satisfy their dissatisfaction? well, if that's the way they do, it means that they're TERRIBLE!!

i couldn't express how bad i feel when sum1 that i trust stab me from behind. i'm feeling bad-----tooo bad!!! so u talk bad behind my back, even if it is your fault! hey dude, i don't think that u r that GREAT for sarcastically menacing me that way!!!
u better check urself up before judging others, by telling the world that i'm bad and u r good.seriously, i'm mad.

i dun even care what r u doing as long as u dun interfere with my life and messin' with me around.
don't u ever dare to ask me for help anymore. i'm not interested in dealing with insincere people. so go on dude. talk bad bout me until u r tired. as long as i know that i do nothing wrong, i don't give a damn of what r u saying.

thank you for causing me to lose my temper on this holy ramadhan.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

my dear atuk--u are irreplacable...

Ramadhan comes again..the holy month that brings us closer to allah and the most blessed month to ask for His forgiveness for all of our sins or wrongdoing (either under our sub consciousness or not).Like the previous years, i am n will be fasting alone---far away from my blissful family. Since my college situated in d suburb area of Sg.Petani, i have to think twice before i can decide to return to my hometown. plus with the buses crisis and very-expensive-fare, maybe it is better for me to just stay in my hostel--fasting with m fellow friends. On the 1st day of puasa, i was quite sad because i couldn't gather with my big family at my lovely kampung--kg.semerbok, rembau. it is a norm for my big family(which consists of my parents,siblings, cousins,nephews,nieces,aunt and uncle) to gather at my late grandfather's kampung house..there, we will be fasting together and "bergotong-royong" to clean up the house as a raya preparation. loads of delicious delicacies will be served as meals of berbuke--rendang,gulai ayam kampung, ikan keli sambal,popia udang,ulam2,murtabak and not to forget-my kak long's mouth watering laksa. normally, we will cook all the special delicacies as a symbol of our gratitude in welcoming ramadhan.my late atuk's big house will be filled with noise from the kids' crying voice to the periuk belanga sound. my nephews n niece will busy playing at the lawn--either playing with the sand or juz riding bicycles while our mums will be busy preparing food for the berbuke session.if only my atuk still alive...suddenly---i miss my late grandfather~sobsob...he's the one who took care of me when i was about 3-6 years old since my parents was too busy with their career. i still remember how tender n loving he was--he never hit me over my naughtiness and never complain over my "mengade-ade" behavior. atuk would always bring me anywhere he went, bought me loads of toys, feed me with good food and etc. he prohibited anyone, including both my parents from canning me--in any way because he said that i was too young and naive to be treated that way. my atuk would bring me to supermarket every weekend with his green toyota to buy my ribena(i drank ribena when i was a kid bcos i was allergic to cow's milk). n then i will take the opportunity to buy my favourite koko-crunch and kfc---thanx to atuk for pampered me with all that. my atuk left me when i was 6, not too long after my parents took me back to stay with them--he left peacefully without any pain after the subuh prayer. may Allah put my atuk among those who are soleh~amin...after my late atuk passed away, my aunt, makngah lived at that house. so my family will return to that memorable place--the place where my dad n i've grown up every raya. thanx to atuk--since he build us a very spacious n comfortable house. i remember people often ask y did my atuk build such a large house--after all he lived alone(my grandma passed away ealier and the only alive children he had that moment was my makngah,my late achik n my dad). my atuk wud answer it with a smile by saying that "nanti cucu2 den sonang nk tido". how generous my atuk for thinking that way--thinking about his future cucu's comfort (my atuk only had the opportunity to see me,kaklong,kakyani,anyah n alang as his cucu). atuk even planted a "kundang tree" in front of our kampung house. he told my dad that he dedicated that tree to all his recent and future grandchildren. and now--all of his grandchildren loves to eat kundang fruit-even the whole village is crazy about our kundang tree since the fruit is the tastiest and sweetest of all kundang in the village...nyummy~owh i started to feel hungry because i missed my sahur today~ one thing for sure...i can't wait to go home--to the place where i belong...

my late atuk's kampung house..lovely isn't it? =p